Cabin Nightmare

FEBRUARY 2012

2 MONTHS BEFORE ARCTIC ADVENTURES

ANDREAS FAGERBEKK

I was going to kill Varg.

Really, I would.

Where the hell did he get off thinking he could have sex in a tiny cabin in the bed right next to us and expect not to wake us up?

Well, he gets off right there next to you, obviously.

I gritted my teeth at the sounds they made. They weren’t half as quiet as they thought.

While it was hard to see them in the dark cabin, the fire still wasn’t out completely, so it wasn’t like I couldn’t see anything.

They were on the floor, Jonathan sitting on his arse, and Varg was on his lap, riding him.

I turned over onto my back and completely forgot about Kristian for a minute there until my shoulder rammed into his chest.

He jerked in surprise but grabbed me to keep us both steady. I’d been of half a mind to pull back—which would’ve ended with me tumbling to the floor, so that was good, considering.

What wasn’t good was that he’d clearly been awake for a while too. So he knew as well as I did what exactly went on on the floor right next to us.

We stared at each other.

He seemed not to know what to do.

I was still angry. Still planning ways to kill my best friend and get away with it. It was easy really. I could just throw him out the door and let the arctic winter do my job for me. Or the bears. Same shit.

‘Ah, fuck.’ That was Jonathan.

‘Come for me,’ Varg murmured—but in a cabin the size of this one, with the only other sound being the fire crackling faintly, it was easy to hear. ‘Come inside me.’

My expression must be murderous because Kristian clearly smothered a laugh against my shoulder.

I’d rather walk outside bare-arsed naked into the freezing cold arctic than listen to the two of them get off. But if I got up now they’d know I was awake, that I’d heard them.

‘There you go.’ This was Varg. ‘Now what are you going to do about me?’

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Hadn’t he gotten off yet?

The other bed creaked, Varg squeaked, and really, I didn’t want to look—but my head turned of its own accord.

Varg was stretched out on the bed now and Jonathan was…

Oh god! 

Varg’s groan was enough to tell me what was going on. I didn’t need to see Jonathan bend over him with Varg’s bare feet spread on his shoulder.

The fucking bed was more than enough to tell me what was going on. When Varg bucked his hips, it creaked.

I literally wanted to die.

If I’d ever been curious about voyeurism—which I had never been—I definitely knew the answer now.

Kristian seemed to find it funny.

I didn’t see the humour.

What if we had—no. Just no. We never would.

Sex was something to be done in private. Not right in front of other people—not even if you thought they were asleep.

It was just disrespectful.

‘Well, fuck me,’ Varg groaned then, and I ground my teeth again.

They better not get back to the fucking part again.

‘I thought I already did that.’ This was Jonathan, speaking in a lower voice. ‘I’m not doing it again. Not tonight. Now can you sleep?’

Their bed creaked.

‘I think I’ll manage,’ Varg answered.

Thank fuck they’re going to sleep. 

It was about damn time.

‘Think we woke them?’ Varg asked.

‘If we did, let’s not ever talk about it,’ Jonathan replied, and… yes. Let’s never talk about it. 

Though I was going to kill him. I really was.


‘What the hell kind of stunt was that last night?’

I didn’t get a chance to speak to Varg one-on-one until the next day. But when I got that chance, I sure took it.

Talking wasn’t my strong point on the best of days, but last night had just royally passed me off.

‘What stunt?’ he asked as if he was all kinds of innocent.

If only he had been! 

I all but vibrated where I stood inside what was technically my own bedroom.

‘You know perfectly well what I’m talking about.’ I crossed my arms defensively—hoping he wouldn’t make me actually say it.

‘Pretty sure I don’t.’

So that’s how it’s gonna be. 

I narrowed my eyes at him.

He blinked in return and preceded to zip his suitcase shut.

‘You had sex in the bed right next to us,’ I hissed, feeling a slight flush creep up my neck.

‘Oh, that.’ He rearranged his face in an apologetic expression. ‘I’m sorry?’

‘Why is it that you don’t sound sincere at all?’

How we had stayed friends for so long was beyond me.

‘I couldn’t sleep in that damp, dreadful cabin. What’d you expect me to do?’

‘Suffer through it like normal people.’ For God’s sake, was this so hard to get?

‘You know I don’t like to suffer if I can be comfortable.’

‘So you’ll just make me suffer instead?’

No, really, how come I hadn’t killed him yet? It was a wonder we kept in contact. I could’ve saved myself a lot of headaches if I hadn’t, but… Well, he was my best friend. He’d always been there for me.

‘I’ve only got two days left.’ He turned to face me fully now, seemingly fly more dejected than I’d seen him in a long time.

‘Shot, Varg.’ I dragged a hand over my face, stubble raping against my palm. ‘You never should’ve come here. Calling g for him is gonna come back to bite you in the arse.’

‘You don’t know that!’ He sighed. ‘Yeah, probably. But I want to make the most of the time we’ve got left. Please forgive me? I know I’m here to see you, but I can see you whenever. This is probably the last I’ll see of him in a very long time.

‘Of course, I forgive you.’ I always did. Or else we wouldn’t be standing here now.

‘You’re the best, you know that?’ He beamed.

I gave a put-upon sigh.

‘Never have sex where I can see and hear again.’

‘Don’t make me promise something I might not be able to keep.’ He stuck his tongue out playfully.

‘Varg,’ I warned.

‘Okay, okay.’ He held his hands up in the universal sign for peace. ‘I’ll promise to try my best at not having sex again anywhere you can see and hear. How’s that?’

‘The best I’m going g to get, apparently,’ I grumbled. I should be happy I even got that, really.

He stared at me.

‘You enjoyed it a little, didn’t you?’

‘I most certainly did not.’ Even if I had, I’d never tell him that. And I had not enjoyed last night at all.

‘Not even a tiny little bit?’

‘Varg—’

He threw his hands up. ‘you seriously need to get laid. Go find a girl if you don’t want to I delve into that bi-curiosity. Just get laid with someone.’

Oh, if only you knew, Varg. 

If only you knew. 

I wasn’t about to share that piece of information though. Not ever, not if I could help it. I could live happily the rest of my life if Varg never found out exactly what went on in my sex-life.

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