I sat on the sofa twiddling my thumbs as I waited for Kristian to get home. As soon as I’d come home earlier, I’d told him about Jonathan and he’d been out the door immediately. I got it, I did. Jonathan was his best friend. His business partner. They were close. If it’d been Varg I would’ve gone over there immediately too. Fucking cancer… It was weird to think about. That Jonathan had it. That it wasn’t something simple like the flu, but something that could actually be really serious.
The front door opened and then slammed shut. The rustling of clothes told me Kristian was undressing.
‘How’d it go?’ I called, craning my neck to look over the back of the sofa and into the hall. It didn’t work, I still couldn’t see him.
Heavy footsteps told me he was approaching. ‘Jonathan was asleep so I didn’t get to speak to him.’ He dropped down next to me, sighing and resting his own head against the back of the sofa. ‘Talked a lot to Varg though. We read up on it.’
‘Is it bad?’ I’d never cared much for Jonathan but I didn’t want him to be sick. That was the man Varg was in love with. The man Varg wanted to marry. Even if I didn’t get along with him, I didn’t want anything bad to happen. I wanted them to be happy and healthy and together.
‘He told Varg it’s all gone. That he had surgery and that the chemo is just to make sure there’s no cancer left.’ He coughed and cleared his throat. ‘But it’s Jonathan. I don’t know if we can trust that? I mean, he’s kept it secret from his own boyfriend for ages.’
‘Pretty shitty of him,’ I muttered. And it was. Varg deserved to know if Jonathan was sick. If Kristian was sick I’d definitely want to know. Speaking of… ‘What happens if you get sick? I mean, if something happens to you, who gets the call?’
He turned his head to look at me. ‘Anna’s listed as my emergency contact.’
Something heavy settled in my gut.
‘But you’re listed as well.’
‘I am?’ I blinked, surprised.
‘Yeah, well, we are together. Who’s your emergency contact?’
‘Dad, I guess.’ I shuddered. ‘I’ve never done anything about that. He’s always been the only family I had. I should get on changing that. To you, then, I reckon.’
He chuckled softly. ‘Is this commitment from your side?’
‘What? Listing you as my emergency contact?’
‘Yeah, that’s pretty big.’ He put a hand on my thigh, squeezing.
‘Yeah, I… I guess.’ I’d rather have Kristian as my emergency contact than Dad. We weren’t even speaking. Even before Christmas we never spoke often and never about things that actually mattered. Most of the time I felt like I didn’t know my own dad. Also, most of the time, it didn’t matter to me. We weren’t close. I didn’t dislike him, but I didn’t like him either, I was just neutral. Maybe that was how he felt towards me too.
Kristian on the other hand, I loved him. Not in the mushy kind of way you always saw with people, but I wanted to be with him. I wanted to live with him, work with him, have sex with him. I wasn’t good with feelings, but this thing we had going right here, it was nice. I liked what we had. So I put my hand on top of his and squeezed him in return. We weren’t holding hands, exactly, but it was a show of affection or something.
‘Would you mind if I made you my primary emergency contact?’ His hand inched up my thigh a little.
‘No.’ I shook my head to prove it. ‘I’d like that, actually.’ If something happened to Kristian, I didn’t trust Anna to let me know. Not after Christmas. Kristian might be on speaking terms with her still, but if something happened and Anna was left with that phone call and Dad at her side… I just didn’t trust them. That might be shitty of me but I loved Kristian and wanted what was best for him. And I was pretty sure that was me right now.
His hand had stopped so I moved it right up where I wanted it to be. He chuckled and squeezed around my dick, which had been sort of interested ever since Kristian put his hand on me. I wore jeans and everything, it wasn’t like it was skin on skin, but it was already half-hard in anticipation.
‘Speaking of cancer, we should get in the habit of checking ourselves.’ He squeezed me some more, but more balls than dick this time around. ‘I hardly ever check for lumps in the shower. They say you should but it’s just… it never gets done, you know.’
‘You can check me out right now,’ I suggested lightly.
He burst out laughing. ‘You just want your dick sucked.’
‘Yeah, well.’ There was no denying that. The dick in question had already given me away. ‘Killing two birds with one stone and all that.’
He shook his head, still laughing, but he unzipped my jeans and got my dick out. His hand was big and calloused and enveloped me perfectly in a grip that was just right. His other hand, just as big and calloused, cupped my balls. His fingers pressed first against one, then the other.
‘Feel any lumps down there?’ I asked, not feeling particularly worried. It was a worry, for sure, but what were the odds two people at the same workplace had testicular cancer? Pretty slim, I’d say.
‘Not any that shouldn’t be there,’ he teased, then bent down and sucked me in. His beard, which he’d been growing for a couple of weeks, rasped against my sensitive skin and I let my head loll back on a moan. He worked me as good as only he could—and when I came he moved up for a kiss.
‘Can I be sappy for a minute?’
‘Hmm? Sure,’ I mumbled, distracted by his lips and tongue and mouth that tasted of my spunk.
He nuzzled my cheek and neck, mouth now out of my reach. ‘I never thought I’d ever meet someone like you,’ he muttered against my skin. ‘Someone I get along with, who likes the same things I do, who appreciate the lives we live up here. I’m so fucking happy you came here to work for us, Andreas.’ And then he kissed me again.
I grabbed his face to keep him there, not allowing him to move away from my mouth again. His beard rasped against my palms now, but then so did mine to him when his hands came up to grab me too.
‘I am too,’ I grumbled, hating to articulate my feelings but since he’d shared his I should at least attempt to do the same. ‘I really appreciate that there’s not any drama. That no one is poking their noses into our business and making it their business.’
He chuckled. ‘I’m not the kind of person who makes drama. Is that what you’ve been dealing with before?’
‘I’ve only ever been with girls before you, you know that. They’re experts at making drama out of the littlest things.’
‘That’s a bit of a generalisation,’ he commented. ‘I’m sure there are loads of girls who don’t make drama.’
‘None that I’ve been with.’ I stuck my tongue in his mouth, wanting to get back to the kissing. It was so much better than talking.
He kissed me for a little while, but eventually pulled back. ‘We’ve got to talk.’
I groaned. That was the last thing I wanted to hear.
‘Not that kind of talk,’ he clarified. ‘But Jonathan’s sick. Who knows how long that’ll last. Synne’s having a kid. Spring and summer will be here shortly. We’ll be short-staffed pretty soon. We need more people.’
Work talk, that I could certainly do. ‘So we get more people.’ It was as simple as that. ‘Radimir’s said yes to staying on full-time this summer. Synne’s still working. It’s months left till she pops out that kid. As for Jonathan, you have to talk to him, figure out a timeline there.’
‘I’ve got a timeline. The chemo is just to make sure there are no more cancerous cells, so technically he shouldn’t have to be on another cure once this one is done. Which means he’ll likely be back to work soon.’ He sat back and ran a hand through his hair. I hoped it wasn’t the hand that had stroked my sticky dick earlier. ‘But what if the cancer isn’t gone? Then we’ll need someone around for longer.’
‘Let’s deal with that if it happens.’ Varg had been sort of hysterical at Svalbar earlier. But Varg tended to dramatise things quite a bit. Surely it couldn’t be that bad, right? Chemotherapy was meant to kill the cancerous cells. And if he’d already had surgery… I chose to believe it was all good until I got firm proof it wasn’t. No use obsessing and worrying about it until it happened.
‘We still need a replacement for Synne. For a whole fucking year.’ He yawned and slumped a little on the sofa. ‘I don’t know anyone who does computers the way she does, which means we have to actually have an application process. Those are a fucking pain in my arse.’
‘I might know someone who could do the job.’
He peered up at me. ‘You do?’
‘Why do you sound so surprised?’
He shrugged. ‘I’m not, I just—I’ve never heard of any other friends of yours but Varg and that twin of his. And Lasse.’
‘This guy is actually sort of related. He’s a friend of Frey’s. He did graphic design at school. From what I hear, he’s pretty good.’
Kristian nodded thoughtfully. ‘The hiring process truly is a pain, which is why we prefer to hire people we know.’
‘Sander’s cool. Relaxed. No drama.’
Kristian snorted. ‘You and your phobia of drama.’
‘I’m sick and tired of it. Everyone always making drama out of the littlest things. I just don’t get it.’
‘And yet your best friend is Varg. I’d say he’s pretty dramatic.’
‘Yeah, well, I’ve been stuck with him for so long he’s just a part of my life now.’ I grinned wryly. Then I nodded towards his crotch. I couldn’t see anything there, but then jeans were good at hiding shit. ‘You want your dick sucked?’
‘I certainly wouldn’t say no.’ He spread his arms wide as if to tell me to do as I wished.
I did. I got his dick out and sucked him off, exactly like he’d done to me. I did it exactly as he liked it. Which was why it didn’t take him overly long to come. I wasn’t the biggest fan of sucking dick. I didn’t mind it but it wasn’t my favourite part of sex. Just like going down on girls hadn’t been my favourite either. I was more eager to get to the proper sex. The penetrative part of it. That’s what was good. That’s what really gave me pleasure.
‘Want to go upstairs?’ I asked and that was definitely our code for sex. Not that we needed a code for when we were alone, but we had it and used it still. It felt strange to ask straight out if we should have sex. Code was better.
Kristian nodded and stood, which told me has was just as eager. ‘I’ll lock the front door so we don’t have any unwanted guests. I doubt Varg’s coming over today, but there are still other people who tend to walk right in here.’
‘Good.’ I was not keen on being caught in the middle of sex again. Since all his employees tended to walk in without so much as ringing the doorbell, locking the door was a must.
My dick, still hanging out of my jeans, was half-hard again. Points for only being in my mid-twenties. I likely wouldn’t have that many years left to enjoy the speed I bounced back with. It’d take longer and longer the more years passed, or so it was for most men. For now, I could fuck all I wanted and not get tired, so I was going to take proper advantage of that today.
Kristian, following close behind me up the stairs, sure didn’t seem to mind. He was at that age where he didn’t bounce back immediately, but he was the one who’d bend over so it wasn’t like that mattered. It’d still be good for him too.
‘Hey.’ He grabbed my arm as we stepped across the threshold into the bedroom. I turned to face him and he pressed a hard kiss to my lips. ‘I know you hate it, but can I have just one more sappy moment here?’
I kissed him as an answer. Yes. Go on.
‘I fucking love you, Andreas, and I don’t want this to ever end.’
I was good with that. I didn’t want this to ever end either. ‘Me too.’ Beard rasped against beard as we kissed again. ‘Me too.’
‘I don’t care what Anna or your dad says. Really, I don’t. I just want to keep things like this.’ More kisses. ‘Even if they get married—or we do, for that matter—and relations get a bit muddled… I don’t care.’
Well, wasn’t that sweet? ‘Get on the bed, Kristian.’ I was done talking about feelings. It was time to get down to business.
He chuckled and dragged one hand down my side until he cupped my dick. Then he grabbed the back of my neck and forced me to bend forward slightly so our foreheads pressed together. ‘If I ever get sick, you’ll be the first to know. Right after my doctor.’ He stroked my dick once. Just that, once. As if that was enough. ‘I hope that goes for you too.’
‘It does,’ I promised. No matter how much I didn’t like talking feelings, illness was something else entirely. You told the people closest to you about that, no matter what. Or… I wouldn’t ever have told my dad unless I was dying, even before he turned into a major git at Christmas, but Dad and Kristian were two very different people. I lived with Kristian, we shared a life and a bed. He had a right to know. Dad didn’t. Anna certainly didn’t.
Kristian and Varg. Those were the people who meant the most to me. Those were the people who would know if there was something wrong. I might prefer to deal with shit on my own, in my own head, but you didn’t exclude your partner from something as life-threatening as cancer, that was for sure. My opinion of Jonathan wasn’t exactly better right now.
He was sick though and I felt for him. I wasn’t heartless, even if I’d been accused of it from girlfriends I’d had in the past. I just wasn’t very talkative or emotional. There was a difference. Quite a big one, actually.
‘Now will you get on the bed?’ I pushed Kristian playfully away, partways embarrassed we were talking about this, partways so turned on I needed this to move on to where I could actually get off.
He held his hands up, smiling widely. ‘Now I’ll get on the bed.’ So saying he pulled his jeans down, stepping out of them and leaving them in a puddle on the floor. He dropped his jumper and tee and boxers too and now I was suddenly the one who was overdressed.
Time to get to it. This we were good at.